50 Hilariously Funny Minion Quotes With Attitude
Funny Minion Quotes
“1. My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle… Information goes in and then it’s never found again.”
“2. Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks ‘what the hell are you doing now?’”
“3. I did a push-up today. Well, actually I feel down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so… close enough now I need chocolate”
“4. You can’t always control who walks into your life… but you can control which window you throw them out of.”
“5. That amazing moment when you hear a song you haven’t heard in years and you still know every word.”
“6. When I’m quiet, those that don’t know me to look at me and think I’m shy. People who know me think OMG! She’s thinking! Everyone run for your life!”
“7. When someone does math without using a calculator witchcraft!”
“8. Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”
“9. Have you ever just looked at someone and said… “seriously?””
“10. Honestly, I’m an angel. The horns are just there so my halo sits straight.”
“11. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.”
“12. 8 year olds today have Facebook, Twitter, iPhone, and iPod. When I was 8, I had a coloring book, crayons, and an imagination.”
“13. Teenager for sale: Eye rolling, back chatting, temper tantrums, and ‘I already know everything’ attitude included, all sales are final.”
“14. I’m losing my mind but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee I should be ok”
“15. God is like oxygen. You can’t see him, but you can’t live without him.”
“16. Sometimes I’m just like…. I need a hug!”
“17. You say I’m dirty minded… …. But, how did you understand what I meant?”
“18. I turned my phone on “airplane mode” and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever”
“19. They say we learn from our mistakes… that’s why I’m making as many as possible. I’ll soon be a genius!”
“20. Don’t be afraid of a few extra pounds. Fat people are harder to kidnap..”
“21. I try to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t want to cooperate!”
“22. I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”
“23. Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
“24. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
“25. That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then bam, have to pee.”
“26. That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly turn into a karate master.”
“27. Math the only place where people buy 64 watermelons and no one wonders why…”
“28. Never forget three types of people in your life: 1. Who helped you in difficult times. 2. Who left you in difficult times. 3. Who put you in difficult times.”
“29. Just imagine how perfect life would be if pizza made you skinny!”
“30. Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernnels. My cremation is going to be epic!”
“31. If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart!”
“32. You’ve aged.”
“33. I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself I never knew.”
“34. If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.”
“35. I did not trip. The floor looked sad, so I thought it needed a hug!!”
“36. Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. Its dark isn’t it”
“37. Yuck! I just stepped in a big pile of Monday!”
“38. I may look calm. But in my head, I’ve killed you about 5 times.”
“39. If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years then you are no longer just friends. You are family”
“40. The human body is made up of over 60% that means I’m not fat, I’m just flooded!”
“41. Seeing a spider isn’t a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.”
“42. The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
“43. Warning going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.”
“44. B.I.T.C.H – beautiful individual that creates hell.”
“45. Sugar is sweet lemons are tart I love you more than a unicorn fart.”
“46. I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles”
“47. Have you ever wanted to give someone a really good throat massage using both hands?!”
“48. Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone, because they aren’t even listening.”
“49. Attention! I am out of order until further notice. My “stupid people” filter needs cleaning and my “give a damn” batteries have run out.”
“50. I think Sunday should be 48 hours instead of the usual 24, so we have more time to prepare for Monday.”
